Hope And Regret

When you have kids of your own, and you go halfway across the world while they stay home in the care of others, it is a regrettable thing.

We are now less than two days from being in the air to China. Our flight takes off at 12:40pm Chicago time. At 5:30 that morning we will pull out of our driveway and not come back to the driveway until probably 8 or 9 in the evening two weeks later.

The only way to describe leaving your kids behind is that it is hell.

On the other hand, we are all, kids included, focused on Nathanael. Mommy and Daddy are traveling to China for Nathanael. Matthew, Emily, and Rebekah are staying behind in the care of dear friends and family for Nathanael. Love is the reason you do all these things and, even for children of 9,7,and 5, the sacrifices love requires are valuable lessons.

And last night I was brainstorming ways in which to keep things light and humorous all the way from China, including daily funny emails, calls on the international cell phone, and all sorts of different things. It's not fun, but it's never hopeless.

You leave them behind, but they're always with you.

And thus, as difficult as it will be, we will leave in hope. There comes a point in the adoption process where you are just glad to get it done. I (Dan) am definitely at that stage. I leave on Sept. 12 praying that Sept. 26 arrives soon.

I love my children, more than they will ever know and more than I can possibly say. It's not natural to be apart from them this long, but in this case it's necessary. They know it. I know it.
We all know it.

Sept. 26! Here we come!

Dan